Mike Whiteley

The Guy Before You

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Mike Whiteley
Written by Mike Whiteley

Lyrics

She don’t like to talk about her birthmark

You aughta hold her hand when you’re in town

Call her if you’re gonna be five minutes late

(and for God’s sake) don’t forget her eyes are brown

 

Never drink straight from the carton

Don’t get too drunk out on the lake

Volunteer to do the dishes now and then

Or you’ll wake up just like me when it’s too late

 

If you’re reading this

Then I’m already gone

But, I’m leaving you this letter

So you’ll know where all I went wrong

Man, I've made so many damned mistakes

No need for you to make 'em too

Just try not to screw it up like me

Signed, the guy before you

 

Don’t compare her to her Mother

Tell her she has ugly friends

That don’t sound nice, but trust me, Brother

It’s the safest answer in the end

 

Don’t get too friendly with the waitress

Close the lid when you get through

Then go to church with her on Sundays

And pray that you won’t have to write this letter too

 

As for me, I’ve learned a lot

‘bout what to do and what to not

And I hope that she don’t think too bad of me

But, someday I’ll meet the right girl

And it might mean the whole world

To find a letter, just waiting there to read (that says)

 

If you’re reading this

Then I’m already gone

She’d prob’ly finally had enough

And threw my stuff out on the lawn

Man, I've made so many damned mistakes

No need for you to make 'em too

Just try not to screw it up like me

Signed, the Guy Before You

 

If it don’t work out then write your letter

And then sign, The Guy Before You