Mike Whiteley

Tequila Time Machine

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Mike Whiteley
Mike Whiteley

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Tequila Time Machine

By Mike Whiteley

6-4-2013

I went to bed last night at six o’clock this morning

And when I finally woke up, Man, the sun was shining on in

I might’ve slept five minutes or I might’ve slept a week

It’s just too hard to tell on this Tequila Time Machine

 

Ch

Oh, this Tequila Time Machine, it messes with your mind

Last night I called my ex up, ‘cause I thought she was still mine

She asked if I’d gone crazy, so I took another shot

And, just like that the past was gone, how could I have forgot?

 

Just last Monday morning I was late clocking in

I told my boss about the time machine, but he shook his head, and then

He said get yourself together Boy, or I’ll have to let you go

I said I’ll try, but the time machine just ain’t got no controls

 

Ch

Oh, this Tequila Time Machine, it makes time jump around

It seems to pick up speed with the more shots you throw down

I’ll be dancing and a drinking with the best girls I can find

And, just like that it’s over, Man, it can’t be closing time

 

You may think this sounds crazy, but I can prove it, y’all

The last time I drank tequila, Man, I woke up in a stall

I was staring at a horse’s ass in Knoxville, Tennessee

But, I started off in Fort Worth, that don’t make no sense to me

 

Ch

Oh, this Tequila Time Machine, no telling where you’ll go

It might take you on or send you back, but there’s one thing you should know

If you plan to drink tequila, and you’re married, listen good

If you drink too much, it just might send you back to bachelorhood

 

I saw a guy the other night, he was wearing my best shirt

And every hot girl that he met, he was trying his best to flirt

I watched this cowgirl slap him, out on the dance floor

I’m pretty sure that it was me, it’s happened all before

Br

Patron and Jose Cuervo, they’ll take you where the wind blows

Just take a shot and then suck on a lime

When things start to look real blurry, Brother don’t you even worry

That’s normal, man, I do it all the time

 

Ch

Oh, this Tequila Time Machine, I know where I want to go

I think I’ll drink a bottle and aim for the grassy knoll

I’ll drink myself to Dallas back in 1963

With enough Patron I just might find out who shot Kennedy

 

 

 

I used to live next door to a sweet little girl, it seems like yesterday

She was all pigtails and elbows, but her family moved away

I saw her last night at the bar, she was hot and twenty three

This has to be the work of the Tequila Time Machine.

 

Ch

Oh, this Tequila Time Machine, it messes with your mind

Last night I called my ex up, ‘cause I thought she was still mine

She asked if I’d gone crazy, so I took another shot

And, just like that, the past was gone, how could I have forgot?